Worldwide mythology, the Bible, mountains of literature, movies, social media and traditional news all have a strong recurring theme: family conflict.
According to insurance surveys, over 50% of all car accidents involving injuries occur within 7kms of home. It makes sense – every journey starts and ends close to home, so you’re there more than anywhere else.
In families, with the exception of your life partner (in most cultures), you don’t get to choose your relatives – and you spend more time, have more emotional exchanges, and face more emotional challenges with your own family (especially if you live and/or work with them) than with anyone else.
The standard protection mechanism for avoiding family conflict in most mammalian family groups involves internal genetic programming or, failing that, the use of force by a dominant individual, to make a youngster that’s reaching maturity move out of their pride / herd / flock or home, before they become a real threat to the patriarch’s dominance. In practice, this usually applies to the males of a species, who are more naturally competitive.
One of the many reasons Family Business makes no sense lies in its defiance of the natural order, because family businesses often make family members work together who are not naturally inclined towards, nor naturally suited for, constructive collaboration.
The (almost) inevitable result is …. family conflict. And we know, from all our mythology, literature and news, that family conflict can be catastrophic for both the family and its business interests.
And yet, family business is one of the most common, longest lasting, successful forms of business around. How do the ones that work well over multiple generations, make things work, sustainably?
Short answer to a big question: they’re realists who do whatever needs to be done to ensure long term success. In particular, they follow the 7 Golden Rules for avoiding family conflict. They:
- Are realistic about their own, and each other’s personalities, needs and interests and use this knowledge to act, and to interact respectfully and appropriately to maintain and protect good, or at least workable, relationships.
- Put plans, structures, systems and processes in place to ensure that everybody knows what The Family Plan actually is, and what their role is within The Family Plan.
- Identify and address issues as they arise, and deal with potential and actual family conflict effectively, fairly and decisively.
- Have effective, reliable and regularly used processes for solving problems and making good decisions.
- Have an agreed set of ground rules to help manage and direct family interactions, and the interface between family members and the family’s business activities. These “Rules of Engagement” are often formalised over time into family policies and/or into a Family Constitution.
- Ensure that everybody is signed up to an agreed Family Vision, and to a supporting Stewardship culture.
- Have access to reliable people, including trusted advisers, who can help to defuse and resolve family conflicts that can’t be resolved from inside the family.
To start addressing your own family conflict please call, or contact: The Solutionist Group.