Category: Making Sense of Family Business – Book #1: 20 Personal Causes of Conflict

This new Trilogy series examines 66 common causes of conflict through the lens of the personalities, loyalties, power dynamics and emotional systems that determine whether Business Families flourish, or fracture and fail. Each Cause of Conflict is presented with tailored Strategies and Solutions.

I’ve distilled thirty years of experience into these three new books, eBooks, and audiobooks to help senior family businesspeople and their advisers find deeper diagnostic clarity, greater intervention confidence, and a more pragmatic response framework to help secure sustainable success, across generations.

“Family Business” … makes no sense! Introduction (Part 1)

(sans knowledge, focus, skills, and discipline). Introduction (Part 1) Every family business has a business family sitting behind it, but the basic concept behind “Family Business” actually makes no sense, because every commercial driver needed to make a good business conflicts with the human success factors that make families happy: This creates a huge conundrum: […]

“Family Business” … makes no sense! Introduction (Part 2)

(sans knowledge, focus, skills, and discipline) Conflict (noun): “a serious disagreement or argument between people with opposing views, opinions, values or principles – often over a protracted period”. Conflict (verb): “different, incompatible, at variance, opposing, clashing”. There is no family on the planet, now or ever, that entirely avoids conflict between its members. That’s not, […]

Cause #13: Founder Syndrome

Founder Syndrome is a common challenge in growing businesses, especially family-run enterprises. It occurs when a founder struggles to adapt their leadership style to the evolving needs of a scaling business. While their early-stage intensity and hands-on approach were crucial for launching the company, these traits can become obstacles as the business grows in complexity. [...]Read More

Cause #14 Imposter Syndrome

Observations Impostor Syndrome is a psychological condition—a recognised pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that cause a person distress, impaired daily functioning, or significant departures from behavioural norms. Imposters (individuals suffering from Imposter Syndrome) experience emotional trauma that overwhelms their ability to manage life and work. They’re often in a state of mild to full-on […]

Cause #15: Broken Wing Syndrome

Broken Wing Syndrome (“BWS”) is when a well-meaning parent over-protects an under-performing adult child, unintentionally entrenching dependence and low resilience. In a family business, that over-protection warps decision-making, erodes accountability, poisons culture, and often explodes during succession. The fix: recognise the pattern, depersonalise it, and restructure roles, support and governance so the individual (and business) […]

Cause #16: Sibling Rivalry & Personal Jealousies

Sibling rivalry is common—and combustible—when it follows siblings into the family firm. Old resentments meet adult stakes (status, pay, power, succession), creating factions, stalled decisions, and delayed transitions. The fix: name the pattern, surface the history safely, reset roles and rules, and install governance that pairs care with accountability. What We Mean by “Sibling Rivalry” […]

Cause #17: Ownership vs Stewardship

Every family business walks a tightrope between ownership (rights, control, and independence) and stewardship(responsibility, duty, and legacy). When family members hold conflicting attitudes toward these mindsets, conflict is inevitable—usually around money, control, and time horizons. Alignment, governance, and courageous decision-making are the antidotes. The Core Divide: Ownership vs Stewardship Ownership = Rights & Control Ownership […]

Cause #18: Disrespect, Mistrust & Unconscious Biases

In family businesses, disrespect wounds dignity, mistrust erodes confidence, and unconscious biases quietly poison fairness. Together, they migrate across the family–business boundary, stall decisions, and corrode culture. The antidote: visible leadership standards, promise hygiene, transparent plans, objective roles/KPIs, a reconciliation protocol for breaches, and deliberate bias-mitigation. Why This Trio Is So Destructive Family life runs […]

Cause #19: CEO Syndrome

In many family firms, the founder’s identity fuses with the role. Stepping back feels like stepping into the void, so succession stalls. The effects: decision paralysis, talent drain, and family conflict. The fix is not a one-day handover but a designed process—governance, role redesign, identity work, and a paced transition that preserves dignity, relevance, and […]

Cause #20: Tradition & Legacy – Blessing or Curse?

“Behind every great Family Business lies a great Business Family.” – Solutionist proverb Tradition and legacy sit at the heart of every family business story. They can be stabilising anchors, guiding lights, or powerful sources of meaning. But they can also be heavy weights—restricting innovation, blocking change, and trapping families in outdated patterns that no […]

Cause #21: Parenting Styles and Practices

Why Parenting Matters in Family Business Conflict (Observations – not medical opinions) One of the most persistent and underestimated root causes of conflict in family businesses originates not in boardrooms, ownership structures, or succession plans—but in the family home, decades earlier. Many of the conflicts that surface in adult family business relationships are not new. […]

Cause #22: The Birth Order Lottery

Why Birth Order Matters More Than Families Think Birth order dynamics refer to how the sequence of birth within a generation influences roles, expectations, status, and behaviour. In many business families, birth order quietly shapes who is perceived as the “leader,” who becomes the “mediator,” and who is expected to “fit in” — often before […]

Cause #23: What’s Fair? Equal Ain’t Equitable

(Why “treating everyone the same” is one of the fastest ways to trigger family business conflict) One of the most common causes of conflict in business families comes from a well-intentioned mistake: confusing equality with equity. Equality means giving everyone the same benefits. Equity means giving people what is fair, reasonable, and appropriate—based on contribution, […]

Cause #24: Family Plans (Values, Visions and Goals)

(Why families lose businesses when they don’t agree where they’re going together) “For want of a nail the shoe was lost…” — Proverb Reframed for family enterprise: “For want of a Plan the Family was lost, For want of a Family the Business was lost, And all for the want of a Family Plan.” — […]

Cause #25: Family Ethics, Culture and Discipline

(Why “how we do things” beats strategy, and why weak standards quietly breed conflict) Family businesses rarely run purely on logic, plans, KPIs, budgets, or org charts. They run on something far more powerful and far more fragile: the behavioural patterns a family has developed over decades — first at home, then transferred into the […]

Cause #26: Roles and Responsibilities

(Why unclear “who does what” turns family business into the Wild West) One of the most reliable generators of conflict in a family business is surprisingly simple: nobody is fully sure who is responsible for what, who has authority to decide, and who is accountable when things go wrong. Founders often dismiss titles and job […]

Cause #27: Family Succession

Why succession remains one of the most powerful conflict triggers in family enterprises What “Succession” Really Means The word succession comes from the Latin successio, meaning a following after. In a family enterprise context, succession is the deliberate transition of ownership, leadership, and management of businesses, assets, and legacies from one generation to the next. […]

Cause #28: Avoidance, Denial and a Slow Poisoning

Observations Business families are notorious for taking shortcuts and following paths of least resistance when it comes to recognising and dealing with unpleasant tensions between family members. The unconscious driver is: “If we don’t talk about it, maybe it will go away.” But in business families, problems don’t disappear. They go underground to ferment, strengthen, […]

Cause #29: Family Governance

Observations Many people in family business understand they’re running a family business, but they don’t always acknowledge the other reality sitting behind it: they’re also running a business family — or at least being supported by one — especially in multi-generational enterprises. Over time, every successful multi-generational family business evolves into a business family, having […]

Cause #30: Spousal Influence

Observations Spouses and life partners (called “spouses” here for brevity) can exert powerful influence inside a business family — not only over their own partner, but across the whole family system. At their best, spouses bring wisdom, balance, emotional maturity, stability at home, fresh perspective, and a stronger platform for raising children and building long-term […]

Cause #31 Marriage & Divorce

Marriage, Divorce & Blended Families — The Hidden Fault Lines in Family Businesses Marriage, de facto relationships, separation, divorce, and blended families are deeply emotional life events — but inside a family business, they become something even more complex: system‑wide disruptions that can reshape loyalties, destabilise governance, and expose the business to financial and legal […]

Cause #32 Bloodline Rivalry

Bloodline rivalry is one of the most underestimated and misunderstood sources of conflict in business families. As Jon Kenfield explains, “bloodline rivalry is like the grown‑up version of sibling rivalry” — a natural childhood dynamic that, if left unmanaged, can evolve into a powerful and destructive force across generations. While sibling rivalry helps children learn […]

Cause 33: Silence & Secrecy

Silence, Secrecy & the Hidden Conflicts That Derail Family Businesses Family businesses rarely fall apart because of loud arguments, explosive fights, or dramatic confrontations. More often, they unravel quietly — through the things that are not said. As you put it in the episode, “in a family business, it’s really what’s not said that causes […]

Cause #34: Collaboration & Teamwork

Collaboration & Teamwork in Family Business — Why They Break Down and How to Rebuild Them Family businesses love to assume that collaboration and teamwork will happen naturally. After all, we’re family, right? We trust each other, we care about each other, and we all want the same things. Except… that assumption is exactly where […]

Cause #1: Personality Differences

Family Business Makes No Sense — And Here’s Why Family business makes no sense. There, I said it. If you’ve ever worked in one, grown up in one, or tried to manage one, you already know this deep in your bones. The idea of combining family and business sounds wholesome in theory — but in […]

Cause #2: Emotional Baggage

If you’ve been part of one, you already know this. And if you haven’t, welcome to the second instalment of our signature series: Family Business as a Concept Makes No Sense — where we unpack the real reasons families in business end up in conflict, and how to make sense of the chaos. I’m John […]

Cause #3: Narcissism

After several decades working with families in business, one truth has become impossible to ignore: “Family business as a concept makes no sense.” Family and business are opposing entities. The things that make families work well — nurture, protection, emotional loyalty — often clash with the things that make businesses work well — accountability, structure, […]

Cause #4: Ages & Stages

Welcome to another episode of Family Business Challenges, where we explore why — in my opinion — family business as a concept makes no sense. And because I’ve spent decades working with families in business, I’m also going to share how to make it make sense. As the document puts it: “This series is all […]

Cause #5: Broken Promises & Unmet Expectations

Welcome to another episode of Family Business Makes No Sense, where we unpack why the concepts of family and business are so naturally oppositional — and why that clash inevitably leads to conflict. As the attached document puts it: “Because the concepts of family and business are so naturally oppositional, they inevitably lead to conflict… […]

Cause #6: Fossilised Leaders

Welcome to another episode of Family Business Makes No Sense, where we explore why people put families into businesses despite the fact that the very things that make families successful are fundamentally opposed to the things that make businesses successful. As the attached document puts it: “When we have that fundamental oppositional success factors, the […]

Cause #7: Dysfunctional Personalities & Disruptive Behaviours

Welcome to another episode of Family Business Makes No Sense, where we explore why combining the concept of family with the concept of business almost guarantees conflict. As the attached document puts it: “The concept of family is so diametrically opposed to the concept of business… you are inevitably going to experience conflict as those […]

Cause #8: Parenting Styles & Practices

This series explores 50 reasons why, through the lens of conflict, family business makes no sense. The very things that make families work well — nurture, protection, unconditional support — are in direct contradiction to the things that make businesses work well — accountability, performance, structure, and discipline. As the attached document puts it: “Putting […]

Cause #9: Conflicting Needs, Wants & Interests

Welcome to another episode of Family Business Makes No Sense, where we explore why combining the concepts of family and business almost guarantees conflict. As the attached document puts it: “Family and business should never be put together. They are completely opposing concepts.” And yet, many families do exactly that — often with great hopes, […]

Cause #10: Mindsets

Family Business Makes No Sense — so let’s talk about it. This series explores the fundamental idea that family and business are such oppositional concepts that mixing them almost guarantees conflict. As the attached document puts it: “Family and business are such fundamentally different concepts with such oppositional success factors… you are inevitably going to […]

Cause 11: Emotional Intelligence

Welcome to another episode of Family Business Makes No Sense, where we explore why mixing a family with a business almost guarantees conflict — and what you can do to prevent or resolve it. As the attached document puts it: “By putting a family and a business together, you’re inevitably going to create conflict at […]

Cause 12: Empathy

Welcome to another episode of Family Business Makes No Sense, where we explore why mixing a family with a business almost guarantees conflict — and what you can do to prevent, minimise, or resolve it. As the attached document puts it: “Because family and business are such naturally opposing concepts, they will inevitably find themselves […]

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