Welcome to another episode of Family Business Makes No Sense, where we explore why combining the concept of family with the concept of business almost guarantees conflict.
As the attached document puts it:
“The concept of family is so diametrically opposed to the concept of business… you are inevitably going to experience conflict as those two very different entities find the areas of clash.”
Today’s topic is one of the most confronting — and one of the most common — causes of conflict in family business:
Cause #7: Dysfunctional Personalities & Disruptive Behaviours
This is what happens when a family member’s psychological or emotional damage spills into both the family and the business, creating chaos, resentment, and operational risk.
And we’re not just going to define it. We’re going to explore:
- what dysfunctional personalities are
- why they develop
- how they create disruption
- and most importantly, what you can do to minimise their impact
Because while good family businesses outperform almost every other type of organisation, the vast majority never reach their potential — and many don’t survive beyond a generation or two.
Why Dysfunctional Personalities Matter in Family Business
I’m John Kenfield, the Family Business Solutionist, broadcasting from Melbourne, Australia. After decades working with business families, one truth is unavoidable:
“The vast majority of family conflicts… are more about relationships and sense of unfairness than they are to do with legal rights and obligations.”
This means dysfunctional personalities — and the disruptive behaviours they produce — are not just emotional issues. They are business issues.
They affect:
- staff morale
- customer relationships
- operational performance
- succession
- family harmony
- long‑term viability
And because families often protect their dysfunctional members, the damage compounds.
Where Dysfunctional Personalities Come From
To understand disruptive behaviour, we need to understand personality development.
The document explains:
“30 to 50% of personality is biological… that leaves 50 to 70% to be formed by your environment.”
Environmental factors include:
- parenting
- education
- social environment
- ethnic culture
- economic conditions
- trauma
And trauma is often the key.
Psychological Trauma → Dysfunctional Personality → Disruptive Behaviour
Trauma occurs when someone experiences an event they cannot emotionally or psychologically cope with. This can lead to lasting injury to the mind — not necessarily the brain.
As the document notes:
“The brain and the mind are two different things… here we’re talking about damage to the mind.”
This damage can manifest as:
- anxiety
- hyper‑reactivity
- emotional volatility
- withdrawal
- aggression
- poor impulse control
- inability to cope with stress
These behaviours are disruptive in any workplace — but in a family business, they can be catastrophic.
Why Families Often Make the Problem Worse
Many families unintentionally reinforce dysfunctional behaviour.
The document highlights:
“Parents… have worked out they probably could not survive in the outside world. But there is a soft feather bed for them within a family business.”
This leads to:
- overprotection
- denial
- avoidance
- indulgence
- lack of accountability
And because the business is privately owned, dysfunctional individuals are often shielded from consequences.
Example: The “Safe” Role That Isn’t Safe
The document gives a powerful example:
“Put them in charge of marketing… but year after year when they miss the dates for getting the catalog out… they are creating massive damage for the business.”
This is how businesses lose staff, lose customers, and lose momentum — all because a dysfunctional family member is being protected instead of treated.
What Families MUST Do
1. Remove the dysfunctional individual from the business
This is non‑negotiable.
“A dysfunctional personality should not be allowed to run amok in a family business.”
If they were a non‑family employee, they would be dismissed. The same standard must apply.
2. Treat the issue as a family problem, not a business problem
The business must be protected. The family member must be supported.
These are two separate tasks.
3. Seek professional help
Families often avoid psychologists or mental‑health professionals due to guilt or fear.
But the document is clear:
“You will need to get some medical or psychological or counseling assistance… uncover the root causes… build strategies… deal with triggers.”
This is essential.
4. Use modern trauma‑treatment methods
Traditional therapy can take years. PTSD‑related treatments can be far faster.
The document mentions:
“A process called EMDR… eye movement desensitization and reprocessing… teaches physical responses to triggering events.”
This can dramatically reduce disruptive behaviour.
5. Rebuild the business environment
Once the disruptor is removed, the business must:
- repair staff relationships
- restore accountability
- rebuild trust
- re‑establish performance standards
This often requires external advisors or an advisory board.
6. Create a personal development plan for the individual
Once stabilised, the individual may:
- re‑enter the workforce
- take on a different role
- pursue a new life path
The document emphasises:
“You don’t want them sitting at home feeling like they’re failures.”
The goal is reintegration — either into the family, the business, or society.
The Exit Point: The Glittering Prize
The ultimate aim is:
“A return to success in both the family private life and in the workplace.”
This is possible — but only if the family faces reality early, acts decisively, and seeks the right help.
Final Thoughts
Dysfunctional personalities and disruptive behaviours are one of the most damaging forces in family business — but they are also one of the most treatable.
