TL;DR
Broken Wing Syndrome (“BWS”) is when a well-meaning parent over-protects an under-performing adult child, unintentionally entrenching dependence and low resilience. In a family business, that over-protection warps decision-making, erodes accountability, poisons culture, and often explodes during succession. The fix: recognise the pattern, depersonalise it, and restructure roles, support and governance so the individual (and business) can succeed without co-dependence.
What is Broken Wing Syndrome?
I coined Broken Wing Syndrome (BWS) to describe a recurring pattern in family enterprises: an over-nurturing, guilt-driven parent scaffolds and shields an under-performing adult child, “feather-bedding” them with special treatment. There’s no malice—only love—but the unintended consequence is enduring dependence, low emotional resilience, and business dysfunction.
BWS commonly shows up cross-gender (dad–daughter, mum–son). Regardless of the pairing, the mechanism is the same: excessive protection replaces capability-building.
A quick word on resilience
Emotional resilience is the capacity to face difficulty and still function effectively—containing anxiety, seeking solutions, and staying connected. Low resilience can stem from genetics, adverse events, poor parenting, harsh hierarchies, or aggressive siblings. Left unaddressed, it spirals into avoidance, disengagement, self-doubt, isolation, and sometimes substance abuse or delusional self-image.
In private life that’s sad. In a family business, it’s combustible.
How BWS Damages a Family Business
When a protected adult is placed in a role they can’t discharge:
- Performance collapses — output misses, deadlines slip, quality drops.
- Profit suffers — misses hit the bottom line and cashflow.
- Culture corrodes — employees resent visible double standards.
- Values get bent — “family-first” behaviours override declared “business-first” principles.
- Siblings disengage — loyalty erodes when effort ≠ reward or accountability.
- Succession derails — promises (“one day this will be yours”) clash with unconditional protection.
- Golden Rule revealed — “Who holds the gold makes (and breaks) the rules.” When rules flex for one, trust collapses for many.
Behind the scenes, the Protector (often Mum) builds a self-justifying narrative: blaming the business for time lost with kids; blaming high-functioning offspring for not “carrying” their weaker sibling; minimising others’ objections as overreactions. Dad may half-see the problem but avoid conflict—parking the child where “they can’t do too much damage”… until they can.
The result? A low-trust family system where principled people feel betrayed, talented successors consider leaving, and succession timelines stretch into the never-never.
Case Study (Composite): Luverly Family & Luverlydrop Wines
A respected SA winery, 2nd/3rd generation. Sales once solid, now down 40%, Wine Club halved.
- Fleur (38): star winemaker, designated successor, losing faith as great wines don’t sell.
- Karen (36): under-performed elsewhere; brought in (family charity) as Marketing Manager; repeatedly misses Wine Club catalogue deadlines, including Christmas (finalised late December or even January).
- Maria (69): fierce Protector; Fred (70): chief winemaker, conflict-averse.
- Staff morale: sinking under visible double standards.
This is classic BWS: misplaced role, chronic misses, parental protection, cultural rot, succession stress. There’s no quick, off-the-shelf fix—only structured, principled change.
How to Spot BWS (Checklist)
- A family member in a critical role repeatedly misses basic KPIs.
- Consequences are waived or endlessly deferred “because family”.
- One parent acts as Protector/Enabler, reframing facts to defend the under-performer.
- Values drift: unwritten rules trump written ones.
- High performers start signalling exit (“I can’t do my best work here”).
- Succession conversations stall or get emotional quickly.
- The “last-chance” Hail Mary keeps reappearing—despite ample contrary evidence.
If three or more ring true, you likely have BWS dynamics at play.
Strategies & Solutions (That Actually Work)
1) Separate the Three Systems
Think in three lenses: Family, Business, Family Business. Don’t let one lens (emotion) hijack the other two (performance and governance).
2) Map Reality Before Prescribing
- Conduct confidential interviews with key family and non-family staff.
- Profile relationships (open/closed, trusting/defensive, supportive/jealous).
- Expect BWS to be a major factor, not the only factor.
3) Focus on the Two Core Actors
- The “Broken Wing” individual: they need mentors, structure, reassurance—not just advocacy.
- The Protector: help them see impacts, name motives (nurture, guilt, relevance), and wean co-dependence at a pace that heals, not harms.
4) Bring in the Right Coach
Engage a specialist coach/facilitator with psych skills who works to businesslike timelines. Chemistry matters.
5) Depersonalise with Data
Use personality profiling and (where appropriate) clinical screening to set a baseline. Do this within a wider leadership program to avoid “targeting”.
6) Redesign the Role for Success
- Place the individual in a genuinely valuable role aligned to capabilities and attitude.
- Engineer for success: clear scope, limited self-sabotage triggers, defined support.
- Reset remuneration to market for contribution; if the family wants to “top up”, do it privately as family, not via the business P&L.
7) Fix the Organisation, Not Just the Person
- Audit structure & gaps created by protection work-arounds.
- Draft role descriptions, KPIs, and performance consequences for all senior roles.
- Make it commercial, objective, strategy-linked—not personal.
8) Use Family Governance to Hold the Line
- Table the issue in Family Council (or with family leaders).
- If there’s no future in the business for the individual, transfer responsibility to the family: support is values-based and private, not a business tax.
- Communicate the solution as a principled family decision, not a punishment.
Guardrails for Implementation
- Language matters: avoid labels in the room; talk roles, results, values, not “winners vs losers”.
- Speed vs stability: move deliberately—fast enough to protect the business, steady enough to keep people regulated.
- One standard: once KPIs and consequences are set, apply them evenly. Exceptions must be rare, reasoned, recorded.
- Succession hygiene: revisit “who, when, how” with explicit milestones. Align ownership, governance, and management pathways.
- Care & candour: pair high empathy with high accountability. Either without the other fails.
Common Questions (FAQ)
Isn’t helping family the point of a family business?
Yes—when help builds capability. Help that entrenches dependence compromises both the person and the enterprise.
Can we “park” the person somewhere harmless?
Only short-term, with clear time limits and exits. Permanent parking creates cultural cynicism and postpones pain.
Won’t stricter KPIs feel like an attack?
They’ll feel like fairness when they apply to everyone and are tied to strategy, not personality.
What if the Protector refuses?
Elevate to Family Council, agree principles, and separate family support from business roles. If necessary, use an independent chair to hold process integrity.
What if the business is already fragile?
Then you can’t afford not to act. Start with governance clarity, role resets, and a 90-day stabilisation plan.
A Practical 90-Day BWS Action Plan
Days 1–15
- Confidential interviews; relationship map; risk & role audit.
- Agree governance forum (Family Council) and decision rules.
Days 16–30
- Draft role descriptions + KPIs; set remuneration policy (market-anchored).
- Select and brief specialist coach; confirm support plan for the individual and Protector.
Days 31–60
- Implement role changes and supports; establish weekly check-ins; track early wins.
- Communicate values-based rationale to staff: same rules, clearer roles, better business.
Days 61–90
- First KPI review with pre-agreed consequences.
- If role fit fails, activate family-funded support pathway outside the business.
Key Takeaways
- BWS is love misapplied: protection without capability is dependency.
- Culture watches the exceptions: one double standard undoes 100 policies.
- Family support ≠ business role: keep them distinct and principled.
- Care + Accountability beats either alone.
- Governance is the antidote: clear forums, rules, roles, and consequences.
Taken from the up coming book:
“Family Business” … makes no sense!
(60 Common Causes of Family Business Conflict, and how to deal with them)
